As I've reached the end of a defining period of my life, I feel compelled to journal it. As school has come to a close, I realize the vast changes that have taken place for me personally and professionally. I always knew I wanted to attend Paul Mitchell. Not long after Jason and I moved to Dallas, we lived in an apartment in Dallas proper. I was working minuscule jobs at the time, waiting tables, bartending, etc. I worked on Beltline Road in Addison and everyday I would drive passed Paul Mitchell. I would see the girls and the occasional boy outside, dressed in all black. They looked chic, artistic, fab. As I would pass by wearing an apron and a tie, I would mentally think how much I'd rather be in their stylish shoes. If we were in competition, they were winning. I'm not really sure why, but I filed it away as a goal to be accomplished at a later date. Somewhere in there I think I genuinely thought it would never happen. I toured the school once around that time. I loved it and it became a mild obsession. I would tour it several times before enrolling. Not long after, I had Lily and Reid and I made the decision to stay at home and give them every ounce of myself until the time was right. I decided the time would be right when Reid began school. I wrote a long-winded blog back last October about what I had to go through to get my GED. That, in and of itself, was a major roadblock. I did it and I waited with baited breath as I applied for financial aid and began the enrollment process. It was finally happening! It was going to be more than a stepping stone to a career for me. It was me venturing back out into society. What stay-at-home-mothers fear admitting to people is that you lose a piece of yourself in the process. You willingly forfeit that for the benefits but you become somewhat socially awkward and desperate for the sound of adult conversation. Ratty yoga pants become a uniform, a disheveled bun and bare face are the norm. I wondered if I'd lost my ability to interact with people. Who was I outside of this house? If I'm not just the kid's mom and Jason' wife, who was I? Did I even know? Was I still likable? Am I that woman that only talks about her kids because I have nothing else to draw from? God, please don't let me be her! I hate that woman! There was nothing to do but dive in and see what happened… This was my reemergence. The next phase.
Orientation day came. We all filed in like cattle dressed for a funeral. Everyone looked nervous and excited. We were being guided into a large conference room and music was blasting. The enrollment team was awaiting us. They were larger than life, perky, and dancing. They said, "You'll be dancing too by the end of the day!" I thought, "I bet I won't." At first I thought I wasn't going to be a good fit because I wasn't perky enough. I got nervous for a minute… We were inundated with Paul Mitchell culture and buzz words. The majority were people entering cosmetology. The estheticians were a small group. Even smaller when you specify you're a night esty. As fate would have it, two of my future classmates were located at my same table. The day was long and I really just wanted to get to the nitty-gritty. One thing was certain, it was all about black patterned tights and black boots. I needed to reenter the fashion world, go out and buy both…..like, yesterday.
Day one, we get our kits. It's referred to as "kit-mas". There's something that makes it real once you're fondling something tangible. Things you'll actually use. Products that read "professional use only" gives you a feeling of power even though you don't know what to do with them yet. Our core teacher was a woman named Chris. Chris was welcoming and had made us cupcakes. She was warm and had a very friendly energy. I immediately felt safe under her tutelage. You could say, "Chris, I have a question" and she would always pause, acknowledge, and say "Yes?" Unless of course this was something you'd been told a few hundred times over or something she felt you needed to figure out for yourself so you wouldn't have to ask again. You never didn't receive an answer because she wasn't interested; it was all part of her process. She was nurturing but didn't take any crap; all the qualities I like in a woman. She let us dive in immediately. She coached us and guided us as we took our first baby steps into our futures. I think we were better for having been her students.
Our core room was a small room located towards the back of the school. I would be confined in this space with these women for a long time to come. I didn't know these women or anything about them. You can look around the room and try to get a feel for who they all are but it doesn't work. Getting to know these women would take time and we had plenty. When we began doing facials we were all so timid to get all up in each other's business. In reality, it's the quickest way to break the ice. You quickly learn that you better get really comfortable getting in each other's personal space because that's your new job. A guest speaker once said that people in our industry go where other people don't dare to go. We lay our hands on you, we enter a zone others typically cannot in everyday situations. Sometimes you don't realize you may be working on someone that is rarely touched and your touch is therapeutic. That's a pretty intense thought. We ladies began preparing for this by working on each other. We began learning about one another's skin but as time passed, we began learning what lay beneath.
Let's meet the ladies….
My tablemate was the first person I really got to know. Miss Brittney Lamb. Brittney was quiet. Friendly, but quiet at first. We exchanged hellos everyday and mindless "gettin' to know ya" chitchat. Table mates would automatically team up when assigned partner facials. I've worked on Brittney more than anyone. I know her teeny-tiny face like the back of my hand. Our mindless chitchat grew into more in-depth conversations. Brittney always carried a large, elaborate pink and grey lunchbox. As my classmates and myself were stuffing ourselves sick with Jimmy Johns and vending machine garbage, Brittney would excuse herself and eat in the breakroom. I finally asked what that was all about and she explained she was a fitness competitor and in training. It was then I went home and immediately crept on her Facebook. My jaw hit the floor. She will get mad at me for this if she reads this because she's very low-key about it BUT her body is sickening!!! She's stunning in person but she's humble so she covers all that up real good. I had no idea how fit and fabulous she was. I went through pic after pic just in awe. Over a thousand followers!?!?! GEEZ! I was enamored of her. She downplays how hard she works and doesn't like people bringing it up because, from her experience, it invites haters. That's a damn shame. I once took a picture of her ripped arms and after I posted it, she said, "Just wait. Someone will say something hateful." Not on my watch, they won't. I don't eat carefully portioned out containers of brown rice and chicken and work my tail off and anyone who would hate on her doesn't either. It's work and dedication and she does it. Instead of that dedication and hard work being something she can walk with her head held high about, she downplays it because of people who like to break other people down. That's their shit. Don't like it? Then eat a salad and go the gym just like her. If I were her, I'd go to the store naked. I don't have her willpower and my big ass is mine and I'm cool with that. It's got nothing to do with her. I grew to love Brittney very much. Me and my good friend, the swimsuit model. We talked each other off ledges many nights. We nursed each other through many trials and we became fast texting buddies. She was there for me in a very dark period and made sure I was functioning. Brittney doesn't talk smack about people. She's always the first to tell me I may have misconstrued a situation or might be being irrational. More often than not, she's right. She's a genuinely good person. A beautiful, smart, funny, goofy, good person. If anybody can't see that 'cause she's fine, it's their very large loss. I'm so glad she's my friend and I'll watch her toned fanny compete and go straight to the top with pride. That's my friend and isn't she awesome?
Haleigh--
Haleigh and I got to know each other more once we got into creative. Haleigh and I enjoy bitchy humor and as time went on I could hear Haleigh's thoughts even when she wasn't speaking. When something annoying was happening in a crowded room, I had to make a conscious effort not to look at her because I'd bust out laughing. She's feisty but she'll also be the most generous person you'll ever meet if you treat her right. She thinks nothing of giving you something she thinks you'll appreciate; it's second nature to her. Her kindness is pure because she doesn't really even notice it. She's had nothing to gain from the nice things she's done for me. She sent me to L.A. at a very low time and that's not something you see everyday. It's still something that chokes me up and why Haleigh Hood can do no wrong in my eyes. Anyone who would do that has a heart of gold, plain and simple. She's feisty and funny but also gets things done. What's funny is she never looks panicked or like she's scrambling. She always looks cool, calm, and collected but never mistake that for inefficiency. Though it may look like she's just texting, she will have done a facial, spent $200 on Etsy, finished her stamps, done her senior project, booked a flight, and rented a house in Reno -- all the while with her boyfriend on Skype. As this goes on you'll say, "Whattaya doin', Haleigh?" "Oh ya know, hanging out, doin' stuff, bein' a princess." Don't let this princess fool you, she has the world by the balls and she'll go anywhere she damn well pleases with the greatest of ease. I admire that about her. If I ever have a question, I ask Haleigh because she knows everything. She'll solve all your problems in 5 minutes or less and then go get her hair done. That's a skill that cannot be taught, ladies and gentlemen.
Amila--
Amila is my little Bosnian sweet pea. She's our baby; the youngest of the group. Amila is effervescent with an infectious giggle complete with perfect brows and a pixie cut. She's the real, live Tinkerbell in a cuter outfit. I tend to shun affection. I'm not good with the hugs but every now and then someone gets in. Amila's hugs and pets are special. She's very affectionate but I don't mind with her. I love her hugs and she makes me feel loved. I came to feel very motherly towards her. I feel an obligation to protect her, to make sure she dates nice boys, and is home at a decent hour. I think I grounded her once or twice. I still don't think she's supposed to be out of her room. She's sassy and class wouldn't have even been even remotely the same without her. She kept things fun and you noticed her absence when she wasn't there. Everyone loves her and she makes friends everywhere she goes. She keeps things light and she sends me funny GIFS and memes just to make me laugh. She tends to favor animals in funny clothes or dancing. She makes me feel young and really old at the same time. Like I said, I can't look at Haleigh during crowded room scenarios but I don't have to look at Amila because she'll text me "I hate her" while sitting right next to me. I love her and I will miss her funny little quips dearly.
Crystal--
Crystal will not be the loudest person in the room because she will not fight to be heard. I think it's a dignity thing. She will not get into a situation that doesn't concern her because she's focused on a achieving a goal and I respect the hell out of that. She will sit back, cool as a cucumber and get done what she has to get done. She works all day, goes to school all night, and has a son with autism she does it all for. She's shed light on what that struggle is like and she pointed out things that have never occurred to me. I appreciate the education on things like this. We could all use a little sensitivity training to understand what other people go through that we take for granted. Her son is non-verbal and she once told me how hard it is to hear other children speak or to hear mothers tell their children to be quiet because she would love to hear her son talk. My heart broke for her but you would never know her struggle even in being in close quarters with her everyday. She still does what she has to do to get done what she needs to get done. She fights a tough battle but she makes it look good. She doesn't get caught up in drama and she's forever changed the way I hear, "GUURL" in my mind. No matter what, her hair, makeup, and clothes are gonna be on point. She's a makeup, product, and Starbucks fiend. I wish I could be more like her in her ability to side-step the b.s. She's strong and I don't think much gets in her way. Kudos to her. Her son is making great strides and I hope so much that she gets to hear those words. Mother to mother, she deserves that. She's fierce, she's Mexican, and she'll make it all happen with a Starbucks in her hand and a MAC red lip. Believe that.
Raelyn--
Raelyn is like no one I've ever met before and I mean that in the best way possible. She's a free spirit. Her talents are many but she's not really bound to anything. She'll go where the wind takes her and she's not one to be tied down. When we all go to Florida, Raelyn may wander off and end up in another city and end up staying there for all we might expect. She can go anywhere and make it because she's built that way. She doesn't fear things, she doesn't hold back, and she's not looking for anyone's approval. I envy that the most. She marches to the beat of her own drum and enjoys her life. She's invited me to cool events and let me be a part of some awesome career opportunities. She knows her shit in the industry and I wish I had a fraction of her makeup skills. I could tell Raelyn anything and she'd never judge me or think any less of me. I immediately knew we would be friends when she knew drag culture, liked certain movies, and documentaries. We clicked and I always like hearing her insights. She's been willing to give me tips and I respect the hell out of her for her creative and artistic abilities. She's fun and spunky. I'd like to hang out with her more but I don't think I can keep up. It's like I've told her, I'll work with her or FOR her anytime. You can't sum her up or put her in a box and I think that's about the biggest compliment I could give her. We should all be so lucky.
Amy--
You will never hear someone say the phrase, "I can't stand Amy". Everyone likes Amy. She has a kind word for everyone and is the first to make a thoughtful gesture. She arranges special events and makes sure everyone is on the same page. She's a mother of two, works multiple jobs, and still came to class every night. Though, I saw how hard it was on her from time to time, it wasn't a burden she threw on the table every night. She would take client after client even though I know she had to be exhausted. I was often exhausted just watching her. Amy is already a success in all facets of her life. She's a wonderful mother but she's professional, driven, impeccably dressed, with a blowout for the gods. I would be happy with what she's already accomplished but she wants more and that's amazing. She makes it look easy and I've often wondered where her energizer battery is hidden to be able to get all this done. I've met her daughters and they are wonderful girls so somehow she manages it all and does it well. I take my hat off to her and I have nothing but respect for a woman doing her thing and handling her business. I want to be her when I get my shit together.
Adrienne--
Adrienne has an unmistakable laugh that is so distinctive you would know it's her no matter where you heard it. Another planet? Don't care, that's Adrienne. It's such an awesome laugh that it makes you laugh. It's genuine, it's from the gut, it's loud and beautiful. Adrienne is studious. She takes notes, she knows what, when, where, why, and how much. You don't have to ask, she already emailed you the info. Adrienne: "Didn't you read my email?" I only started checking my email after I felt bad for missing one she'd sent once. If Adrienne doesn't know, the details haven't been released yet. Adrienne used to be on Kidd Kraddick In The Morning. I remember thinking that was the coolest thing ever. She has that radio voice. It's clear, demands to be heard, and respected. She's clever, funny, and just plain likable. I was so pleased to discover her mutual bizarre obsession for all things Amanda Bynes. We once missed someone's run at school because we were in the creative room watching Amanda Bynes go on a rant at LAX on TMZ. I think she's fun and I think she's got a great life ahead of her. She'll excel and be the first to finish anything she touches. We tested out several weird makeup looks on each other and she never complained. "Adrienne, I'm gonna do this, okay?" "It's cool. Whatever. I don't care". She was so easy-going and her bone structure is perfect for being a model but she won't sit still to get it done for shit. Her makeup skills have reached an amazing level. It was a thrill to literally be able to watch her talents grow. I think she's a freaking riot.
Alex--
I had to pass Alex every time I wanted to go to the vending machine for a soda. Alex is very anti-soda. I playfully called her the soda gestapo. She would see me fishing for change in my bag and I would try to sneak passed her. "Getting a soda?", she'd ask. I'd immediately justify my reasons. Her looks of judgements were painful at first but I think she eventually gave up on me. Eventually it became, "Drink your damn soda, I don't care." I said nothing to her when she ate pop tarts. Alex is one of the most beautiful women I've ever seen. Her skin is like porcelain but she always tells us of imaginary skin flaws no one else sees but her. Alex doesn't talk a whole lot but when she does, it's hilarious. You never what she'll say but she'll say exactly what she's thinking. She's a perfectionist and very detail oriented. She also has the cutest assortment of boots you've ever seen. I've gotten to have Alex do a few of my facials and she gave me a few details about her private life during them. I was glad to get to be privy to that. She's not the type that's going to immediately tell you her life story. To get details, you have to be in her circle for a minute. She doesn't mix her personal life with school and that will take her even farther. She's drama free, she's professional, and she'll be hired immediately. She's shared some of her weird fruits and foods that I'm not really sure what they are with me and I've enjoyed our smart-assed back n' forth.
Kayla.
Kayla was my teacher but Kayla was a major part of my experience. When we moved into creative and started getting to know Kayla I wanted to be extra charming because I thought she was fierce and I wanted her to like me. I was trying to be funny and said something a few days in. Whatever it is I said is irrelevant. Kayla turned around and gave me this weird look. I thought, "Oh shit, she hates me." I eventually came to realize Kayla makes faces and not to read too much into it. I quickly developed a deep admiration for Kayla. I wrote her a sappy letter after graduation and apologized if I'd ever blurred the teacher/student lines. She's friendly and warm so it's easily done. She never taught through intimidation or made any of us feel inferior. She was always supportive, laughed with us, and cut us a little slack -- but not too much -- when we were on hard times. I learned so much from her and I will miss her as much as I'll miss anybody. Truth is, I'm hoping we can hang out now that I'm graduated so maybe I won't have to miss her at all. She was an influence that came along at an important time in my life. I needed her support and guidance and her approval meant a lot to me. She taught me makeup, brows, and pointed out that I needed to trust in my abilities and learn to take a compliment. I once did a makeup job and I asked Kayla's opinion. She said it was great. I wasn't happy until I'd all but begged her to pick it apart. I don't know why I do that. She's a big reason I came to school every day so a large portion of my success is due to her. She knew when to hold my hand and when to let go. She never hovered over me or doubted my ability to make a judgement call in the treatment room. I grew to adore and respect her very much. I hold her in very high regard and she was a great influence on me. Nothing would have been the same without her. She was huge piece of the puzzle. I'm not a huggy person and neither is she but I found myself hugging Kayla a lot towards the end. I love her and I just wanted her to know it. Life's short so here's a hug 'cause I love you and shit.
All these women have had such a profound effect on me. I've seen traits and qualities that exist within them that I'd like to adopt for myself. We went on a journey together and we finished it together. We've all seen each other through good times and bad times but I've loved looking at them the past few weeks and seeing the look of self-accomplishment on their faces. I've learned there are things I consider a struggle that might be a walk in the park for of them and vice versa. Where you excel someone might struggle. I learned to never get caught up in professional jealousy. If someone is better at you in something, be humble enough to ask for their advice rather than hate on them for it. I've grown to love these ladies in a deeper way than I ever thought I would. I know their stories, their struggles and I was present for some of those struggles but I was also there for their triumph. I see something in all of them that I can learn from and work on within myself. The past 8 1/2 months have been a whirlwind and I don't recognize the girl on day one unwrapping her kit at "kit-mas". I've been through life-changing events since then and I've come out the other side a completely different person. All my products marked "professional use only" still give me pride because I know what to do with them. I'm a real live esthetician and so are they. I watched their journey and watched us all grow as a group. You're my heroes, ladies. Thank you for the lessons, the laughs, the love. I couldn't picture it with anyone else. I will take a piece of each one of you with me into my future. I hope I can tell you all about it over drinks for years to come. Here's to us.
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