Call Me Layla: Momma Lioness

I am in such a gross place today.  Jason received an e-mail and a phone call from the teacher/coach we’ve been having issues with.  The coach did apologize profusely and made it seem as though the “ribbing” was done in a much more light hearted manner than Drew made it out to be.  Just because it was light hearted to him, doesn’t mean it was to Drew.  Grown man vs. 13 year old boy just somehow doesn’t seem fair to me.  After the call, Jason and I had a moment of asking ourselves the question:  “Did we go for the jugular too fast?”  In my head, it almost seems like because he was nice about it and apologized, we were the mean ones.   I have to remember he was nice because we threatened further action if it didn’t stop and made it clear we’re not playing.  I hate to second guess myself.  I’m no shrinking violet and one should never poke me with a stick because you’ll draw back a bloody stump but I often lash out first and feel bad for it later; I’m like a sour patch kid that way.  But I did let this one breathe for a while and gave it a chance to dissipate.  It didn’t, so here we are.

Our instinct as parents is to protect our children from being hurt at all costs.  I watched the most amazing Disney Documentary on HBO called “African Cats” with the kids a few weeks ago.  It takes you on the most beautiful journey of momma cats in the wild having to fiercely protect their young and sometimes paying with their lives.   Layla the lioness paid with her life.  It made me tear up a few times.  It makes the quote:  “There is no stronger bond than that of a momma lion and her cub”.  It was amazing to me how that instinct carries over into human mommies, too. Yes, I am a momma lioness.  Mess with my cub and I’ll come for you.  But did momma lioness get too mad too fast here?  I still say no…  Let’s backtrack….

After I spoke with Jason, I was left feeling really uneasy so I called Drew down to make sure I had all my facts straight.  The teacher claimed there was no one else in the room when he pulled up the images and that he pulled up those particular characters because when he was “ribbing” Drew about his hair being too long Drew said:  “Well at least I’m not as bad as Joe Dirt or Pony Boy Curtis”.  So the coach later pulled up these images to “rib” him and point out he wasn’t far from it.  He’s using the fact that Drew brought up these particular characters to try and deflect the real issue.  Luckily, I don’t get distracted easily.  You’re not going to dangle something shiny in front of my face and think I’ll lose the scent I’m trailing.  In the immortal words of Judge Judy, “Don’t pee on my leg and tell me it’s raining.”  The issue is, no matter who brought up the characters, he still embarrassed and harassed my son.  No amount of tap dancing is going to get me to see it otherwise.  He embarrassed him over something as harmless as esthetics and what he deems an inappropriate length of hair for a boy.  Also, Drew said:  “Mom, he’s lying.  My whole class was in the room and a girl I have a crush on was just a few seats down and she heard it.”  He said:  “I laughed it off at the time because I didn’t want it to become more of a scene than it already was.  What was I supposed to do?”  My heart broke for him.  I said:  “Drew you did exactly what I would expect you to do.  You were respectful, you didn’t talk back to an authority figure who was belittling you and for that I am so proud of you”.  You behaved how I raised you.”  He went on to say that when kids get ahold of things like this, they will now spread it like wildfire around the school and pretty soon Joe Dirt will be his new nickname; a nickname that was started at the hands of a teacher.  He tells me how mean kids are now; one wrong move and you’re toast.  I haven’t forgotten the hell that was school and it's only gotten worse.  I hated every minute of it and hit the ground running on my last day of senior year.  I can’t tell Drew that but I sure do remember.  He does better in school than I did but he seems to have just as hard a time with the politics as I did.  I knew I was in there somewhere….

I do admit that kids today have gotten a little overprotected and teachers often have to be overly P.C.   My mom tells me horror stories about how one innocent comment from a teacher can have a swarm of parents up to the school in a raging fit.  Jason often talks about the wussification of America and how the entitlement that is so instilled in this generation should scare the hell out of us.  I do however, think that where kids have gotten a little bit of extra cushion, they’ve had to make up for it with the dog eat dog situation that’s so prevalent in today’s school system.  Not to mention, the social networking that can continue to badger them long after the last school bell rang.  But I do feel confident that I know the difference between one off color comment that could be easily shrugged off and an ongoing case of bullying from a teacher, no less.  I’m not what I would consider an overbearing mother, (Jason would argue), but I feel that I have a good sense for when it’s time to step in for my kid.  I refuse to let myself feel bad or think I overstepped my bounds.  I think what the coach did was wrong and I’m not going feel guilty for doing something about it.  In the e-mail I sent to the coach I made the statement:  “My son is a kind, well-mannered kid who’s never once had to be reprimanded for his behavior so if you’re biggest issue with him is about the length of his hair; I think that speaks volumes”.  Drew and I have talked and hugged it out.  I’ve praised him for being the good kid that he is, tried to insert the steel rod in his back he’ll need sometimes in life to keep his head up, slapped him on the butt and will now send him on his merry way.  However I did make sure to remind him of the old adage his dad always tells him about the mean kids who tease you for making good grades: “They may call you a nerd now but someday they’ll be calling you sir.”  Go forth, my boy.  Momma Lioness will be watching from here...